I am Wanderer, I am Exile


Sun in Taurus, Moon in Cancer, IV xviii

May 17, 2010

Who am I? Does my name matter? Am I not Everyman? Anything I may accomplish, anything I can accomplish -- can be done by anyone, if he chooses to do so. So I am going back to the very beginning to make sure I have taken every step along this magical path.

May 18 - My past experiences? Invocations of the elements. Evocation from the Goetia. Extensive daily ritual practice. Visionary experience -- both purposeful and extemporaneous. Some psychic flashes at unexpected moments. A practice known as "going on the holograph". Celebrating the Gnostic Mass over an extended period of time (and yes!, I believe in charging the elements).

        My point is: I am no beginner, but I feel my experiences have been too haphazard. So I am going back and working the Crowley system from the very beginning. I don't want to have missed anything. I am not going to claim anything unless it happens from this point forward, and then I am going to examine it carefully. No Magician's Megalomania for me.

May 19 - Besides working my way through the Student's Reading List, I have also been reading James Eshelman's The Mystical and Magical System of the A.'.A.'. and Lon duQuette's Understanding Aleister Crowley's Thoth Tarot.

        As to the Reading List itself, I am focusing on the original reading list. The one for which tests were and are given. To that I am adding titles from the expanded reading list in Magick that were written by Crowley. Following that plan I have re-read "The Book of the Law", "The Message of the Master Therion" and "The Law of Liberty". I have read and re-read these many times. I am currently reading Konx Om Pax. Following are my notes so far on this book.

        "Empty Headed Athenians" laments the frustration of trying to teach anything to those with a herd animal mentality.

        "The Wake World" is obviously about the relationship between the aspirant and the Holy Guardian Angel. Whenever you see "Adonai" in Aleister Crowley 's writings, he is referencing the Angel. This is also a Qabalistic journey. ... Qabalistic/Tarot journey up the tree of life. Sort of an Alice in Wonderland kind of story.

May 20 - "Ali Sloper" supposedly reflects on the Jones-Crowley collaboration as they put together the A.'.A.'. But most of it reads like some kind of inside joke. You may find a few gems in it, but I'm not sure if's worth the effort.

May 21 - "Thien Tao" - This seems to be both a parody, and a treatise on the equilibrium of all things.

May 22 - "The Stone of Abiegnus" - This reads like a debate among different types of atheists and agnostics. I am most drawn to the final verse, "The Poet."

May 23-27 - The Book of Lies - I know enough about Qabala, Tarot, Astrology and Eastern Thought to understand most of what Crowley is saying here. But is he saying anything new, or is he trying to prove how clever he is?

        It becomes more of a game of "Oh, I know what he's talking about now," and less a matter of "Oh, he just said something utterly brilliant that I've never heard of before."

Anyone coming to Konx Om Pax and The Book of Lies for magical instruction is going to be disappointed. There is nothing practical here; there is nothing that someone can actually use (with very few exceptions).

        I would be much more impressed by direct, simple instructions, uncluttered by cuteness; offering actual information that a student can use.

    But that will, of course, come later.

May 28-June 2 - The Goetia - Reading this was, of course, nothing new. Going through the Students' reading list I've yet to read anything I haven't read before. I have much experience with the Goetia; some, but not all, of that experience impacting the material world.

        I've decided to try again, utilizing a spirit I've not worked with before.

        The desire of course being to have the time to actually do what I'm supposed to be doing.

June 2010